Posts from — April 2009

Ann and Dan were divorced and she was awarded custody of their son, Zach. Dan was awarded visitation rights. After the divorce, Ann remarried and joined the Catholic church. Zac began attending Catholic catechism classes pursuant to his mother’s wishes.

Zac attended catechism at the church his mother and her current husband attended. Those classes were on Saturday mornings from 10 a.m. to 11:30 a.m. On Dan’s visitation weekends, he picked up Zac after catechism classes on Saturday’s. Zac had to be returned to his mother on Sunday evening.

Ann and Dan agreed to expand Dan’s visitation so that Dan could pickup Zac on Friday evening. However, they could not agree on whether Dan would have to take the child to Saturday morning classes.

Dan claimed that such a responsibility would be unfair to him since he lived relatively far from the church. Ann claimed that since she had the right to choose the child’s religious instruction, Zac should still go to catechism even if it inconvenienced Dan.

The court agreed with Ann. What do you think?

Fall down seven times, get up eight. — Japanese Proverb

There is nothing you can say about your ex that will speak louder than his actions. So, shut up and let his bad behavior speak for itself.

If either you or your spouse are in the military, your divorce will be more complicated. Various federal laws must be considered, primarily concerning notice to the other party, alimony and child support, the distribution of retirement and other benefits, what information must be included in any final judgment, and what forms must be submitted to the military.

For the spouse of the service person, this will also require some negotiation to compensate for the loss of certain benefits. This applies if either or both parties are on active duty, in the reserve, or retired from the U.S. Air Force, U.S. Army, U.S. Marine Corps, U.S. Navy, U.S. Coast Guard, U.S. Public Health Service or the National Oceanographic and Atmospheric Adminstration.

In such a situation, it is strongly suggested that you find a lawyer who is familiar with the special problems encountered when one or both parties are in the military. All branches of the service offer some form of legal assistance (such as the JAG office), but you may also wish to check with your local bar association referral service for an attorney who has experience in divorces in military families.

Women marry men hoping they will change. Men marry women hoping they will not. So each is inevitably disappointed.

In the majority of counties in North Carolina, whenever an action involves an issue of custody or visitation of a minor child, the parties are required to mediate the unresolved issues before a court hearing is held. The court can waive this requirement if:

a party lives more than fifty miles from the courthouse;

the parties agree to voluntary mediation;

there are allegations that the minor child has been abused or neglected;

there are allegations of alcoholism, drug abuse or spousal abuse; or

one of the parties has severe psychological, psychiatric or emotional problems.

There is no cost to the parties for the mediation. If you file for custody or visitation, ask the clerk to assist you in scheduling mediation.

Repeat after me: I don’t miss him, I miss who I thought he was.

Expenses incurred by a minor child that are not usual or customary. These expenses are taken into account when calculating child support. The court determines whether or not an expense is extraordinary.

Examples of extraordinary expenses include expenses related to special or private elementary or secondary schools to meet a child’s particular educational needs and expenses for transporting the child between the parents’ homes. In order for an expense to deemed extraordinary it must be reasonable and necessary.

I am filing for divorce because there are a lot of things I don’t like about my husband. And one of those things is his last name. But, I also don’t like my maiden name. Will the judge at the time of my divorce is finalized allow me to change my name to something other than my married or maiden name?

Any woman whose marriage is dissoloved by divorce may change her name to any of the following: (1) her maiden name; (2) the last name of a prior deceased husband or (3) the last name of a prior living husband if she has children who have that husband’s last name.

Divorced are the rich in wealth: for they can afford the cost of litigation.

Divorced are they that nag: for they shall be quieted.

Divorced are the perjurers: for they shall be revealed on cross-examination.

Divorced are they which do beat-up and batter their spouses: for they shall be punished.

Divorced are the weak in flesh: for they shall see a physician.

Divorced are the homewreckers: for they shall be called to testify for the opposition.

Divorced are they which are ordered to pay their spouse’s attorney fee; for they can afford the cost of litigation.

Divorced are you, when your spouse shall belittle you and berate you, and distort the facts of your relationship to gain an advantage in court.

Beware, and proceed with caution: for despair is often a consequence of divorce.