Posts from — June 2009

My husband and I are splitting up. We have three kids. If I get custody of the kids does that mean the court will automatically award me the house?

No. The fact that you have custody of the kids is a factor the court will consider but it is not the only factor the court will consider.

Divorce is like a mud sandwich. The more bread you have the less mud you have to eat. — Unknown

Why is this an important question?

Because verbal abuse is often a gateway to physical abuse. It is extremely rare for man to beat his wife or girlfriend without first cursing her out.

One of my clients found helpful insights in a book called The Verbally Abusive Relationship by Patricia Evans. I encourage you to check it out. You have nothing to lose and everything to gain.

Don’t let the same dog bite you twice. — Chuck Berry

Some people may question your decision to end your marriage. Your parents may wonder why you couldn’t stick it out, since they have been married for thirty years and cannot understand why you can’t do the same thing. Your single girlfriends may talk about how crazy you are for ending your marriage when it is so hard to find a husband. Your minister may question your decision to break your wedding vows.

Everyone is entitled to an opinion. However, your life is not a democracy in which everyone you know gets a vote. You alone decided to say “I do” and you alone have the right to decide when it’s time to say “I don’t anymore.

I spent the last two weeks reading Duma Key by Stephen King. If you like King you will like this book. Lots of crazy things start happening to the main character, Edgar Freemantle, after he loses his arm in a construction accident.

He divorces his wife and moves to Florida. He rents a big pink house and starts painting pictures that begin turning his world upside down.

Reading books like this is a good way to take your mind off your problems. Your life will seem like a day at the beach compared to the drama Edgar encounters in this 600 page novel.

You can’t have everything. Where would you put it. — Steven Wright

Here are a few questions you might consider asking your children:

What do you think about your dad and I breaking up?

Do you have any questions about your dad and I breaking up?

What can your dad and I stop doing to make our break-up a little easier on you?

What can your dad and I start doing to make our break-up a little easier on you?

What can I do to make you feel that it is okay to talk to me about how you feel about your dad I breaking up?

Speak softly and carry a big stick. — Theodore Roosevelt

No.

Never.