Posts from — November 2009

That’s the name of a new book I just finished.  Over the course this month, I am going to publish each chapter in eleven separate installments.   This first installment is the introduction from the book which let you know what the book is all about.  I will publish Chapter One on Thursday, December 3rd.

Introduction - A Note to Readers

Madonna (not her real name) attended a divorce workshop I conducted at a local library. 

She raised her hand near the end of the program, when I announced we only had time for one final question.

“After forty years of marriage, my husband put me out of the house.  How does a woman with no money or no job start over?” she asked.

Madonna’s question caught me off guard; I’ve conducted dozens of workshops but she was the first person to ask that question.

After almost 20 years of practicing law, I was qualified to answer legal questions like, “Is the fact that I think my husband is crazy grounds for divorce?” and “If I strap a refrigerator to my husband’s back and throw him down the stairs can I plead temporary insanity?” 

Because I was not prepared to respond to Madonna’s question I tried to offer her a few words of encouragement. But I left the library regretting that I could not have been more helpful.

That night I went to bed determined to come up with a good answer to Madonna’s question.

The next morning I woke up and started writing this book.

I wish I could promise you that the simple act of reading this book could pay your bills or put money in your pocket.

So what’s in it for you?

My hope is that reading this book will make you feel better about your future and your finances. And once you start to feel better, I hope you will then begin taking whatever steps are needed to pick yourself up, brush yourself off and bail yourself out!

Be happy.  Be hopeful.  Be grateful.

Be patient with yourself.  Everything is difficult before it becomes easy.

Have courage for the great sorrows of life and patience for the small ones; and when you have laboriously accomplished your daily tasks, go to sleep in peace.  - Victor Hugo

1.  Never ever discuss child support with your children.

2.  Never ever say unto your children what you wouldn’t want said unto you.

3.  Never ever use your ex’s bad behavior to justify your bad behavior.

4.  Never ever fight about your children in front of your children.

5.  Never ever let your feelings  about your ex blind you to what’s best for your children.

6.  Never ever try to turn your children against your ex.

7.  Never ever blame everything that goes wrong on your ex.

8.  Never ever fail to take responsibility for your share of your drama.

9.  Never ever forget that your kids only get one childhood.

10.  Never ever forget that divorce doesn’t doom children to a life a ruin.  Parents who keep fighting after the divorce is what dooms children to a life of ruin.

Peace is a journey of a thousand miles and it must be taken one step at a time.  — Lyndon B. Johnson